Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Going viral on Slack:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Making waves on Messenger:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Seen just now on Threads:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Seen just now on Threads:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"When my phone doesn't text back, it's not ghosting—it's just being introverted! 📱😅👻"

attitude, back, communication, humor, i, phone, sarcasm, text, texting, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

0

2 months ago

cashier, customer, customer service, day, good, good day, honesty, humor, insincerity, mean, retail, said, sarcasm, service
Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

0

5 months ago

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off
Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

0

2 months ago

$2.99, entertainment, frustration, humor, irony, movie, rent, service, services, streaming, streaming service, unavailable, unfortunately, want, watch
It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

0

2 months ago

ambiguity, better, change, getting, humor, mysterious, mystery, perspective, thing, third, worse
People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

0

2 months ago

change, demon, eyes, glowing, humor, nostalgia, people, photograph, red, used
I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

0

2 months ago

am, bed, fatigue, humor, i, irony, lunch, night, rest, tired, wish, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Manifesting you in my bed.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Shared recently on Reddit:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Breaking via WeChat:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Seen just now on Threads:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨