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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Making waves on Reddit:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Spotted on Slack:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Unpopular opinion: Greek mythology needs more live-action movies. I’m tired of re-watching Percy Jackson.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text about Greek mythology craving more live-action movies, tired of Percy Jackson repeats.

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Commentary:
Hades must be over there wondering why he's always left on read 📚🔱🎬

fan, fatigue, greek, Greek mythology, jackson, live-action, live-action movie, movie, movie fan, movie fatigue, movie remake, mythology, needs, opinion, percy, Percy Jackson, remake, rewatching, tired, unpopular, unpopular opinion

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

30 shares on Discord this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

67 shares on Discord this month:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Breaking via Reddit:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Just shared via Instagram:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Just landed via WeChat:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

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Activity Log ✨

Unpopular opinion: Greek mythology needs more live-action movies. I’m tired of re-watching Percy Jackson.

I have the sex drive of a potato.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unpopular opinion: Greek mythology needs more live-action movies. I’m tired of re-watching Percy Jackson.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I have the sex drive of a potato.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨