Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Spotted on Reddit:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Live now on X:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Spotted on Messenger:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Breaking via YouTube:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Just landed via X:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing like a good old mysterious exit to keep the neighborhood on edge! 👀🚔 #Whodunnit 🕵️‍♂️🔍"

again, crime, crime scene, crowd, dark, dark humor, exit, humor, interaction, irony, leaving, mystery, scene, social, social interaction, unexpected, walking, whisper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

0

2 months ago

apology, attempt, bad, dating, flirt, flirting, humor, humor attempt, i, interaction, joke, social, social interaction, sorry, trying
If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

0

2 months ago

adventure, drinking, enforcement, humor, law, law enforcement, listening, nightlife, party, story
I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

0

2 months ago

adventure, all inclusive, desperation, escape, humor, ID, inclusive, jurassic, Jurassic Park, park, point, spend, theme, theme park, travel, vacation, week
Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

0

2 months ago

conversation, dating, dude, every, girl, humor, inbox, self, talking, texting
Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

0

3 months ago

congratulation, fetal, fetal position, humor, i, joke, me, new, please, position, relaxation, rest, while
All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

0

2 months ago

am, bills, finances, good, good to go, humor, i, money, outstanding, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

88 shares on Discord this month:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Just landed via Threads:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Just landed via Twitch:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Making waves on WeChat:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Making waves on Messenger:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Breaking via Messenger:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Going viral on X:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨