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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Going viral on TikTok:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Just landed via Twitch:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Just landed via Slack:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Just shared via YouTube:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Trending via Messenger:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Just shared via Messenger:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Going viral on Twitch:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Going viral on Instagram:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adding ice makes it a gourmet experience 😂❄️🥤

drink, flavor, humor, temperature, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulting, humor, life, relatable, responsibility, school, skip, work
When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

0

5 months ago

almost, conversation, feels, friend, friends, humor, i, never, science, scientific, sex, sexual, talk
I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

0

2 weeks ago

apology, bathroom, bathroom scale, corner, humor, i, joke, liar, lie, little, personification, put, scale, stay, weight, where
The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

0

2 months ago

boss, Christmas, employee, even, humor, never, party, Pope, religion, workplace
Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

0

2 months ago

activity, binge-watching, casual, casual date, chicken, chicken nugget, comfort, comfort food, date, food, fun, fun activity, humor, Netflix, nugget, snack
I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

0

2 months ago

born, capitalism, choices, disappointment, favorite, historical, historical reference, humor, i, irony, king, late, life, life choices, mistress, reference, stage, sun, Sun King, Versailles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Slack this month:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

44 shares on Threads this month:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

11 shares on Discord this month:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

79 shares on Twitch this month:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Going viral on Facebook:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Going viral on Discord:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Trending via Snapchat:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨