Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Just shared via WeChat:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Live now on Reddit:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

What are cats even trying to do?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to break into the nap Olympics and master the art of ignoring humans! 🐱😴🎯

cat, cats, curiosity, even, humor, question, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

0

2 months ago

cheating, favorite, feeling, girlfriend, heartache, humor, love, loyal, loyalty, relationship, trust, world, worst
The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad news, exercise, flight, good, good news, humor, morning, news, phone, steps, travel, turbulence
When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, critic, de, food, humor, i, nom, nom de plume, plume, pun, restaurant, under, writing
I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

0

5 months ago

container, containers, gift, hold, humor, i, joke, know, love, much, relationship, smaller, women
You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, humor, Jesus, killed, me, Pilates, reference, religious, religious reference, sarcasm, thing, want
So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

0

2 months ago

ache, bed, excited, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, life, sarcasm, sleep, tiredness, wake, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

50 shares on Facebook this month:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Just landed via Slack:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Going viral on Facebook:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Just landed via Discord:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Just landed via Messenger:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Spotted on Instagram:

My love language is being sent money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What are cats even trying to do?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨