Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Making waves on Discord:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Trending via TikTok:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Trending via Discord:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Spotted on Twitch:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Trending via Twitch:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Shared recently on X:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

What are cats even trying to do?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to break into the nap Olympics and master the art of ignoring humans! 🐱😴🎯

cat, cats, curiosity, even, humor, question, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

0

2 months ago

accidental, constant, humor, life, lock, lock screen, screen, screenshot, technology
The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

0

2 months ago

afford, being, carrot, carrot peeler, fantasy, house, humor, millennial, neighborhood, peeler, professional, salary, Sims, walkable, walkable neighborhood
If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

0

2 months ago

bit, confidence, conversation, definition, ever, humor, i, just, looking, middle, phone, reading, text, texting, too, used, word
Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

0

2 months ago

AI, answer, artificial intelligence, ChatGPT, day, ever, every, everyday, frustration, humor, i, keys, suing, where
Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

0

2 months ago

animal, bawk, chicken, humor, joke, outside, pun, sound, think
Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

0

2 months ago

coping, humor, just, laughter, lesson, life, life lesson, lightheartedness, lol, move, move on, positivity, say, sometimes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

82 shares on Threads this month:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

93 shares on Slack this month:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Going viral on TikTok:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Just landed via WeChat:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Making waves on Instagram:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Just landed via Messenger:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Breaking via Twitch:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What are cats even trying to do?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨