Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Going viral on WeChat:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Trending via Instagram:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Just shared via TikTok:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's time to invest in some ankle armor and speedy sneakers! 😂👟🐾

ankle, bite, biting, creature, humor, labubus, life, mythical, mythical creature, slang, southern, southern slang, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

0

2 months ago

comedy, excuses, humor, irony, rude, self-deprecation, solutions
Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

0

2 months ago

April, April Fool’s, celebrate, celebration, costume, culture, day, fool, fool’s, humor, identity, sensitivity
Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

0

2 months ago

activity, animals, appear, cool, experience, fun, hanging, hanging out, happen, just, lot, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, outdoor experience, outdoor fun, outside, start, stuff, things, wildlife
I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

0

2 months ago

awareness, communication, even, humor, husband, i, relationship, silence, talking, think
He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

0

2 months ago

checking, forgetfulness, forgot, holiday, humor, leaving, list, making, milk, shopping, still, store, twice
A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

0

2 months ago

animal, baby, baby cow, calf, cow, half, humor, joke, pun, questions, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Live now on Threads:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨