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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

56 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Trending via Pinterest:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Breaking via Messenger:

Blink if you want me!

Live now on Instagram:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Seen just now on X:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Going viral on Facebook:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

6 months ago

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's brain is doing some Olympic-level gymnastics trying to navigate the treacherous territory of social media and pet emotions! 🤯🐶🐱 Don't worry, your dog probably just wants to have a treat and a belly rub, not analyze your Instagram behavior! 😆 #OverthinkingChampion"

anxiety, cat, dog, dogs, feelings, humor, hurt, i, Instagram, mean, media, overthink, pet, social, social media, things, videos, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

56 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Just shared via Reddit:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Reported on Threads:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Making waves on Instagram:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Going viral on YouTube:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Breaking via Snapchat:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Spotted on Threads:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

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