Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Shared recently on Facebook:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Just shared via Messenger:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Trending via Twitch:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Live now on Pinterest:

Talents: eating!

Seen just now on Discord:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

2 months ago

0

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's brain is doing some Olympic-level gymnastics trying to navigate the treacherous territory of social media and pet emotions! 🤯🐶🐱 Don't worry, your dog probably just wants to have a treat and a belly rub, not analyze your Instagram behavior! 😆 #OverthinkingChampion"

anxiety, cat, dog, dogs, feelings, humor, hurt, i, Instagram, mean, media, overthink, pet, social, social media, things, videos, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

0

2 months ago

age, exactly, feel, getting, getting older, humor, i, irony, just, kick, life, older, wisdom
Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

0

5 months ago

call, cause, definitely, glitch, humor, me, mess, system, technology
Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, days, gap, generational, generational gap, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, people, perspective, too, young, youth
“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

0

2 months ago

being, budget, complaint, cost, dollars, everything, expense, frustration, getting, heat, money, temperature, tired, weather
That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, expression, feelings, humor, moment, serious, smile, strange, trying
I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

0

5 months ago

actually, electricity, energy, frustration, generate, humor, i, irritation, sarcasm, sometimes, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

100 shares on Discord this month:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

36 shares on X this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

100 shares on Slack this month:

January is the Monday of the year.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Just shared via Discord:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Going viral on TikTok:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Trending via Snapchat:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Seen just now on Slack:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Going viral on Slack:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Making waves on Reddit:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Going viral on Messenger:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴