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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,909

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Just shared via Reddit:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Trending via Snapchat:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When I retire, my biggest campaign promise is to never set an alarm clock again! 🕰️😴 #VoteForSleep"

ambition, career, election, going, humor, i, joke, office, politics, retire, retirement, run

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

1 month ago
chasing, Easter, Easter egg, egg, eggs, game, games, gaming, gaming humor, hide, humor, item, items, place, rare, rare item, video, video game, waterfall, where
As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

1 month ago
apologize, apology, daughter, era, family, family relationship, fashion, fashion era, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, i, jean, jeans, low-rise, low-rise jean, parent, parents, relationship, teenage, teenage daughter, top, tube, tube top
The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

3 months ago
back, confidence, empowerment, flex, humor, independence, real, relationship, run, woman
Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

1 month ago
apocalyptic, argument, arguments, breaks, comedy, coming, debate, end, end of world, expert, expert panel, fire, humor, ice, next, others, panel, satire, say, side, world
Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

1 month ago
accusation, exaggeration, humor, me, million, people, ten, today
The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

2 months ago
adventure, body, dead, dead body, everest, fine, home, humor, laziness, lazy, me, mountain, mt., Mt. Everest, perfectly, procrastination, remind, safety, stay, staying, staying home

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Going bananas on Threads:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Making waves on X:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Going viral on X:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

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Activity Log ✨

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The only men you can trust is ramen.

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Wake me when AI does housework.

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

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When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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