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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Trending via Reddit:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Just shared via Pinterest:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Spotted on X:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Trending via Slack:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Going viral on Messenger:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Going viral on Instagram:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm launching a search party for responsible grown-ups—by any chance, do cats qualify? 🐱☕️😅

adult, delegation, humor, me, procrastination, responsibility, stuff, today, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

2 months ago

Barbie, culture, environmentalism, got, humor, irony, little, microplastic, microplastics, pop, pop culture, self-reflection, us
People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

2 months ago

before, hygiene, pee, peeing, people, question, shower, thought
I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

2 months ago

apartment, bad, bad news, clean, cleaning, humor, i, irony, just, love, news, procrastination, sit, Victorian, Victorian widow, waiting, whole, widow
Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

2 months ago

apology, costume, flirting, foreplay, humor, i, know, med, med school, nurse, nurse costume, play, role, role play, school, self-awareness, sorry, take, too
Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

2 months ago

appointment, chores, cleaning, dentist, dentist appointment, humor, i, kitchen, laundry, making, plant, procrastination, saw, watered
If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

2 months ago

buy, dinosaur, history, humor, i, pet, question, repeat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

22 shares on Threads this month:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

70 shares on X this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

29 shares on Slack this month:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

80 shares on Threads this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Trending via Facebook:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Trending via Slack:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Just landed via Telegram:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Going viral on Twitch:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Going viral on Telegram:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Spotted on Discord:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨