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If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

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Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

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How is it still this week?

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The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

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Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

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You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

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Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

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Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!