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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Making waves on Instagram:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Live now on YouTube:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Spotted on TikTok:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

Breaking via Threads:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

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Commentary:
"Guess they had a 'reciept' for disaster! 😂🧾🤦"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Threads this month:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

95 shares on Slack this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Going viral on YouTube:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Just shared via Threads:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Just shared via X:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Making waves on WeChat:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

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