Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

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If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

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Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

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Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

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The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

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The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

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THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

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My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

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Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

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I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

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The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.