Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing says 'romance' quite like plotting together for a staged mishap! 💔😂 Who knew mischief could be so enticing? #LoveAtFirstConspiracy"

accident, crime, date, humor, joke, me, playful, relationship, romance, trust, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

0

2 months ago

40, activity, birthday, birthday party, celebration, depot, fun, fun activity, home, Home Depot, humor, men, over, over 40, party, should, store, stores
I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

0

2 months ago

am, buying, care, happier, happiness, i, love, me, much, myself, peace, retail, retail therapy, self, self-care, shopping, therapy, things, works
I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, black, calory, coffee, drink, humor, i, preference, save
Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

0

3 days ago

affection, animal, booster, day, day improvement, funny voice, humor, improvement, interaction, just, kind, looking, love, miraculous, mood, mood booster, much, pet, pet interaction, saying, stuff, voice, weird
Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

0

2 months ago

adult, caffeine, coffee, dust, energizer, fairy, fairy dust, humor, magic, version
It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

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5 months ago

around, day, evening, feel, lazy, lazy day, management, procrastination, regret, sad, sadness, Sunday, time, time management, waste, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

My brain has too many tabs open.

92 shares on Discord this month:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Live now on Threads:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Just landed via Discord:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Just landed via Threads:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Trending via Discord:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨