Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Just landed via X:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Live now on Facebook:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Just landed via Threads:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is there a time thief hiding in my couch, or did I just discover teleportation to bedtime? 🛋️⏰😴

after, evening, humor, know, management, minutes, next, procrastination, relax, relaxation, thing, time, time management, tiredness, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

0

1 month ago

communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

0

2 months ago

comedy, confuse, confusion, doctor, funny situation, glove, humor, medical, prank, rubber, rubber glove, situation, unexpected
Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

0

5 months ago

American, Americans, Celsius, conversion, Fahrenheit, freeze, humor, joke, measurement, said, saw, system, temperature, unit, unit system, water
A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

0

2 months ago

humor, learning, people, reading, something, study, text, thought, useful
I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

0

4 months ago

belief, believe, Bigfoot, creature, humor, i, me, mutual, mutual belief, mythical, mythical creature
I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

0

4 months ago

am, financial, financial struggle, fund, funds, humor, i, insufficiency, money, pun, struggle, too, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

31 shares on Slack this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Just shared via Messenger:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Spotted on Pinterest:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨