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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Spotted on Messenger:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Going bananas on Discord:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Just landed via Snapchat:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Live now on Pinterest:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

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You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.
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Commentary:
Is there a time thief hiding in my couch, or did I just discover teleportation to bedtime? 🛋️⏰😴

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

38 shares on Threads this month:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Spotted on Slack:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Just shared via X:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Going viral on Threads:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Making waves on X:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Just landed via Slack:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Just landed via YouTube:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

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