Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Just shared via Slack:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Just shared via YouTube:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Breaking via YouTube:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I've seen y'all clap for pineapple on pizza, so your boos just add to the symphony of chaos! 🍍🍕🎭

anything, attitude, cheer, cheering, confidence, humor, insult, me, mean, mockery, people, rivalry, sarcasm, seen, sports

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

0

2 months ago

back, date, funny remark, humor, irony, life, relationship, remark, sarcasm, where
It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, basket, chores, daily, daily life, filled, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, laundry, laundry basket, life, money, nice, relatable, struggle
I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

0

2 months ago

car, coffee, coffee cup, cup, feeling, funny idea, humor, i, idea, interaction, lonely, me, morning, people, quirky行为, social, social interaction, top, wave
Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

0

2 months ago

celebration, feast, Feaster, food, holiday, humor, should, Thanksgiving
Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

0

2 months ago

disappointment, gift, giving, humor, keeps, land, magic, magical, Monday, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek
I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, evil, fun, giggling, humor, i, just, laughter, party, slutty, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Reddit this month:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

34 shares on X this month:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

64 shares on Slack this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

97 shares on X this month:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

79 shares on Threads this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

18 shares on X this month:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Trending via YouTube:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Trending via Telegram:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Freshly posted on Threads:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Trending via Threads:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Making waves on TikTok:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Trending via Messenger:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨