Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Just shared via Messenger:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Going viral on Messenger:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about financial wishfulness and humorously downplaying depression.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs therapy when there's a Benjamin facelift for the soul? 💸😂 #RetailTherapyNotIncluded"

account, bank, cash, depressed, depression, finances, financial, financial joke, health, humor, income, joke, just, mental, mental health, money, need, sarcasm, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Discord this month:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

55 shares on X this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

82 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

61 shares on Slack this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

95 shares on X this month:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Just landed via X:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Just landed via Reddit:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Trending via Threads:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Being a little freak is my love language.

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Being a little freak is my love language.

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨