69 but we both just farting.

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Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

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Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

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Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

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Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

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The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

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Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?

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Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

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I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

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An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.