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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,926

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Shared recently on Slack:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Just shared via WeChat:

God saw you do that.

Just shared via Messenger:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Going viral on Telegram:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream, one imaginary dollar at a time 💸😂✨

always, ambition, aspiration, childhood, ever, girl, humor, i, little, lot, money, wanted, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

2 months ago
being, frustration, money, multimillionaire, tired, wealth
I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

2 months ago
day, eating, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, napping, rest, serving, serving size, size, snack, times, wish
Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

4 weeks ago
before, breakup, broke, communication, computer, computers, friend, friendship, humor, mutual, mutual friend, night, printer, printers, relationship, technology, treat
Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

1 month ago
battery, cables, car, friend, friendship, humor, joke, negative, negative friend, next, positive, positive friend, road, road trip, start, take, travel, travel joke, trip
Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

1 month ago
adult, angry, argument, bed, conflict, finish, humor, never, relationship, stay, staying, staying up
One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

1 month ago
bed, Bluetooth, calory, condom, day, fitness, good, humor, innovation, next, relationship, technology, tell, train

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Live now on LinkedIn:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Seen just now on Facebook:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Going bananas on WeChat:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Trending via WhatsApp:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Breaking via Reddit:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

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Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

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Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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