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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Shared recently on TikTok:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we should've brought popcorn for this apocalyptic premiere 🍿😅📉

apocalypse, end, end times, existential, front-row, front-row seat, getting, humor, joke, satire, seat, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

0

2 months ago

ancient, better, Chinese, Chinese philosopher, following, fuk, Fuk Yu, humor, i, improvement, joke, life, life improvement, much, philosopher, philosophy, wisdom, yu
Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

0

2 months ago

another, bag, communication, flesh, glowing, glowing screen, humor, interaction, relationships, screen, send, social, social interaction, symbols, weird
I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, fitness, gene, humor, i, image, self-improvement, skinny, skinny gene, wish
Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

0

6 months ago

apology, here, humor, just, laziness, nap, relationship, single, stay, taking
If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

0

2 months ago

asking, cue, funny observation, humor, mean, observation, queue, sarcasm, shit, social, social cue, someone, waiting
Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anywhere, bug, bugs, choose, face, fly, fly into face, flying, flying bug, humor, insect, nature, right, still, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on X this month:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

14 shares on X this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Spotted on X:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Breaking via YouTube:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Just shared via Threads:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Seen just now on Slack:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨