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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Live now on Facebook:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Making waves on Messenger:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Going viral on Twitch:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Live now on YouTube:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?
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Commentary:
Guess we should've brought popcorn for this apocalyptic premiere 🍿😅📉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Making waves on Threads:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Just landed via Slack:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Trending via Slack:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

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