Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.
  • I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.
  • I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.
  • Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.
  • Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.
  • I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.