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Finally, a place where 'explaining my 2-year gap' means 'recovering from my ex-job'! 😅📉✨
Author Archives: slickboy
Hey, not to brag, but I’m on hold, and my call is very important to them.
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On hold and feeling VIP, I should start charging for my patience! 🤙📞😂
They need to make movies where nothing important happens while I’m looking at my phone.
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This is why popcorn comes with a built-in "rewind" button 🍿🔄🍿
I’m not crazy. I just reject reality wholeheartedly and create my own.
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Living in my own sitcom, and the laugh track is on repeat 🎬😂
The older I get, the more I’m not going.
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When my couch calls, I must answer! 🛋️📞😆
Shaving your balls before going out gives a 100% guarantee you will not get laid.
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Looks like the secret to a quiet night in has been uncovered 😂🍒✂️
I like when you click a link and it turns purple, it’s like you’re bruising it.
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Looks like I've been leaving a trail of bruised links on the internet! 💜🔗🤣
The Odyssey is proof that “on my way” has never meant “be there soon.”
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Odysseus' definition of "on my way" clearly involved detours, giants, and a decade-long traffic jam 😂🗺️⏳
Just got hospitalized for being cringe. They put me in the awk ward.
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Hope the food there isn't too punny! 🤪🏥
Everything is terrible, but my neighbor has a big cat named Maximus and just named his new tiny cat Minimus.
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Maximus and Minimus: The purr-fect duo for when life gives you cat-astrophes! 😺🐾