Author Archives: slickboy

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

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When you’re starring in your own romcom, but nobody told the other person 🍿😅🔥

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

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When you're tipsy and ready to mingle but your only date is a bowl of chips 🍟😂#PartyOfOne

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

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I guess it'd be the first case of mutually assured soccer destruction! ⚽💥😂

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

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Sounds like a two-tissue job with a side of tech tears 😂🖨️💻

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

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If Netflix had its way, they'd charge each of my personalities for their own subscription 😂🍿💸

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

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That's spot on, mate! I reckon the Demogorgon would pop over for tea and biscuits instead 🍪👾🇬🇧

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

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Living my best life by perfecting the art of productive procrastination. 🙃🎉

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

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When your bladder decides to play hide and seek just as you're snuggled in, it's a real-life plot twist! 🚽😴🚨

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

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Even my pen pal from Alcatraz thinks I need to lighten up! 🖊️😅📬

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

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Unstoppable force meets immovable drizzle 😂☔️