Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Just shared via Twitch:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Just shared via Reddit:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Going viral on WeChat:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Going viral on Slack:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Shared recently on Discord:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your existential crisis takes a coffee break ☕😅 #LivingInDenial"

alive, babe, being, comedy, conversation, dark, dark humor, existential, horrors, humor, ok, relationship, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

0

6 months ago

coding, color, color coding, communication, emoji, emoji meaning, heart, heart emoji, humor, i, learn, meaning, means, refuse, relationship, want
The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

0

1 month ago

band, concert, giant, giant magnet, guitar, hands, humor, i, influence, magnet, music, shows, The Velvet Underground, underground, velvet
We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

0

2 months ago

chaos, cosmic, cosmic tornado, humor, irony, job, jobs, life, live, satire, sure, tornado
Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

0

1 month ago

accomplish, cartoon, collaboration, funny thought, got, humor, imagination, jerry, just, once, partnership, teamwork, thought, together, tom, Tom and Jerry
Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

0

2 months ago

break, break the ice, elevator, hugging, humor, ice, interaction, social, social interaction, strangers, tension
You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

0

4 months ago

2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

49 shares on Discord this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Just shared via Twitch:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Live now on TikTok:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Broadcasted on X:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨