Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

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When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

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If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

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Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”