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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Trending via Facebook:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Live now on Discord:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Making waves on Messenger:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Freshly posted on X:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for a job description refresher course! 🗂️🤔 #AmIOnSnooze

back, back to work, forgetfulness, humor, i, job, morning, office, remember, trying, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

0

2 months ago

agree, back, cars, cooper, drivers, empty, empty stalls, flag, humor, looking, mini, Mini Cooper, need, parked, parking, put, stalls, stop, where
Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

0

2 months ago

gift, humor, i, item, love, me, oh, reaction, surprise, unwrap
Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

0

2 months ago

activity, couch, day, good, humor, leisure, making, most, relaxation, spent, still, sure, work, works
“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

0

2 months ago

arrival, ask, bird, birds, ETA, humor, question, sky, travel, waiting
You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

0

2 months ago

ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say
Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

0

2 months ago

bit, conflict, early, guys, humor, i, irony, leave, me, mind, request, timing, today, war, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

49 shares on X this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

37 shares on WeChat this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

59 shares on TikTok this month:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨