Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Spotted on Discord:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Spotted on TikTok:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Just shared via YouTube:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Seen just now on Threads:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you accidentally become a mime because your social anxiety is like, "Nah, we’re good." 🤐😂

annoying, anxiety, being, chest, chest pain, discomfort, fear, i, me, need, nervousness, pain, public, public speaking, shy, shyness, speak, speaking, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

0

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort food, corner, eating, food, humor, indulgence, me, Nutella, solo, solo activity, spoon
Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, app, digital, download, entry, gates, heaven, humor, imagine, irony, technology
Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

0

2 months ago

dinner, downstairs, eat, enemies, enemies to lovers, family, family dinner, gay, good, humor, i, ID, just, lovers, man, only, parents, relationship, stereotype, wanted, woman, yell
Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

0

5 months ago

confidence, crazy, humor, i, knowing, never, night, self-acceptance, sleep, ugly
It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

0

2 months ago

before, Earth, generation, humor, internet, know, last, lite, media, nostalgia, realization, realize, social, social media, technology, weird
Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

0

3 months ago

1800s, big, call, end, every, farewell, farewell gesture, gesture, harbor, humor, leaving, meeting, nostalgia, steamship, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, waving, Zoom, Zoom call

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

96 shares on X this month:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Live now on Twitch:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Trending via Messenger:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Spotted on Threads:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Making waves on TikTok:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨