Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Shared recently on X:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Trending via Snapchat:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Trending via Telegram:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Live now on YouTube:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Just landed via TikTok:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you accidentally become a mime because your social anxiety is like, "Nah, we’re good." 🤐😂

annoying, anxiety, being, chest, chest pain, discomfort, fear, i, me, need, nervousness, pain, public, public speaking, shy, shyness, speak, speaking, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

1

5 months ago

button, dating, humor, i, love, me, morning, much, relationship, search, self-love, sleep, snooze, snooze button, someone
Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

0

2 months ago

back, banter, conversation, conversations, funny remark, height, humor, i, joke, people, person, playful, playful banter, remark, saying, short, short person
When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

0

4 months ago

beginning, end, expression, humor, i, irony, language, learned, learning, literally, word
A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

0

5 months ago

alien, alien invasion, change, change of pace, hostile, humor, invasion, nice, pace, sarcasm, sounds
I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

0

2 months ago

accident, distraction, humor, i, love, phone, reason, relationship, smile, walk, wall
I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

0

2 months ago

communication, emotion, expression, face, face reading, facial, facial expression, honesty, humor, i, keep, mouth, read, reading, sarcasm, shut, subtitles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Discord this month:

Cool times create cool guys.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

35 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Shared recently on Threads:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Breaking via Reddit:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Just landed via X:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨