Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Spotted on Slack:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Shared recently on Twitch:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Trending via Slack:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Making waves on Slack:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Spotted on Discord:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you find out the adulting class was just a cruel prank 😉📝 #SkipAdulting #PermanentRecess

adult, being, excuse, humor, me, note, procrastination, responsibility, responsible, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

0

2 months ago

always, aspiration, childhood, ever, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, little, retire, wanted
Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

0

2 months ago

course, critical, critical thinking, critique, humor, i, right, sarcasm, self-awareness, skills, thinking, wit
I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

0

2 months ago

afford, aspiration, comedy, entertainment, gigs, humor, i, paid, stand-up, stepping, stone, television
My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

0

2 months ago

asked, ex, friend, friends, games, humor, i, joke, kid, let, me, phone, relationship, text
Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

0

2 months ago

application, bro, hear, humor, job, job application, question, secret, us, why, workplace, workplace humor
Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

0

2 months ago

asking, babe, being, binge-watching, every, hours, humor, loneliness, me, Netflix, only, relationship, reminder, self-care, shoutout, still, streaming, thank, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

66 shares on Reddit this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

64 shares on Threads this month:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Seen just now on Threads:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Trending via Facebook:

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Just shared via Reddit:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Making waves on Instagram:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨