Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Trending via TikTok:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Trending via YouTube:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Seen just now on WeChat:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Just shared via WeChat:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Seen just now on Slack:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the AI bubble pops, I'll be here with popcorn and a front-row seat 🍿🤖💥

AI, bubble, culture, everyone, frustration, hate, internet, internet culture, just, pop, sarcasm, technology, trend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

0

2 months ago

am, better, better person, choice, cool, fashion, going, humor, i, jacket, making, materialism, myself, new, person, personal, personal choice, priorities, purchase, self-improvement, working
I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

0

4 months ago

child, debt, family, finance, humor, i, joke, love, me, money, parenting, parents, pay, spending, world
Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

0

2 months ago

company, company fridge, food, fridge, funny situation, humor, i, lunch, name, names, new, office, people, putting, sandwich, situation, strange, today, trend, tuna, tuna sandwich, workplace
Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

0

2 months ago

anything, boyfriend, dating, flip, flip phone, getting, gift, humor, joke, need, next, phone, relationship, simplicity, tech
“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, eat, food, humor, self-deprecation
If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

0

2 months ago

advice, family, follow, give, hack, humor, just, kid, me, parenting, play, sibling, toy, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Making waves on X:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Seen just now on Reddit:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Making waves on Discord:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Making waves on Reddit:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨