Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
When you need to politely ask someone to get moving but also want to keep the "may your descendants forever feel my mild road rage" option open 😂🚗📢

another, car, cars, communication, curse, driving, excuse, family, friend, generations, horn, humor, kind, me, rage, road, road rage, sarcasm, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

0

2 months ago

bright, communication, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, irony, light, people, perception, sound, talk, wit
I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

0

2 months ago

everything, happiness, happy, i, life, need, person, simple, simple person, want, work
The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

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2 months ago

asleep, bed, earlier, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, sleep, still, think, thoughts, time, wake, waking, waking up, why, wish
Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

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2 months ago

alone, detox, digital, digital detox, everyone, humor, i, introvert, log, log off, need, right, time
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

0

2 months ago

commitment, commitment issue, dating, humor, issue, issues, love, low, oh, relationship, sarcasm, self-worth, situationship
I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

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2 months ago

bill, divine, divine light, electricity, end, expenses, humor, i, joke, light, me, sunlight, think, tunnel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Slack this month:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

69 but we both just farting.

95 shares on Slack this month:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

76 shares on Threads this month:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Making waves on Twitch:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Trending via Slack:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Just landed via Snapchat:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Trending via Discord:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Just shared via Slack:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨