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Commentary:
🤣💉 "Cartoons really do have a way of glamorizing the most unusual things! Although getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork might look nonchalant on TV, I definitely wouldn't volunteer as tribute to test out that theory myself! 🍑🍴"

big, butt, cartoons, deal, exaggeration, getting, humor, i, pain, perspective, pitchfork, stabbed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

1 month ago
baked, baked good, benefits, delicious, dessert, food, friends, friendship, good, goods, humor, just, relationship
You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

3 months ago
bad, bad day, cheeseburger, day, even, food, frustration, help, humor, know
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

1 month ago
calm, communication, ever, house, humor, key, lock, locked, talk
British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

1 month ago
accent, British, cultural, cultural reference, drinking, humor, joke, people, reference, tea
I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

1 month ago
accident, accidentally, breakfast, drink, humor, i, juice, mix-up, morning, orange, orange juice, twice, vodka
Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

1 month ago
animal, animal behavior, behavior, bird, capable, car, eat, eating, every, front, humor, i, plate, poop, poops, porch, revenge, show, time, wing, wings

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

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If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

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Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

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Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

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People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

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Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

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I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

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Just shared via X:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

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Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

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Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

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Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

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Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

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The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

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I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Never trust a wet fart.

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

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Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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