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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Trending via Pinterest:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Just landed via X:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Just shared via Instagram:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Just landed via Discord:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Live now on Pinterest:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you tell your cat a secret and they silently judge you instead of offering advice. 🐱🙀💬"

attitude, care, cat, cats, everything, hear, hearing, humor, indifference, just, pet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

0

2 months ago

animal, asking, cat, emotional, emotional support, humor, participation, still, support, want
I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

0

2 months ago

am, funnier, humor, i, joke, marriage, marry, me, relationship, self-confidence, someone, wit
I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, dollars, dream, humor, joke, life, million, missing, money, wealth
I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, color, confusion, difference, even, fear, gray, grey, humor, i, know, language, scared, too
I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

0

2 months ago

25, 30, basketball, commercial, commercials, delay, excitement, exciting, foul, game, humor, last, minutes, ready, seconds, sports, stretch, time-out
Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

0

4 months ago

beautiful, beauty, behind, every, eyesight, health, humor, iron, issue, issues, low, low iron, poor, tummy, tummy issue, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

41 shares on X this month:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

71 shares on Discord this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Breaking via Messenger:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Trending via Threads:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Trending via Facebook:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Going bananas on X:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨