Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Trending via Threads:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Making waves on Slack:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you tell your cat a secret and they silently judge you instead of offering advice. 🐱🙀💬"

attitude, care, cat, cats, everything, hear, hearing, humor, indifference, just, pet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

0

2 months ago

always, appreciation, art, bench, humor, i, most, museum, painting, paintings, relaxation
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, bed, bounce, clumsy, floor, humor, knock, lamp, mishap, moment, phone, technology, throw, walls
Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

0

5 months ago

communication, grammar, humor, language, lesson, lessons, lot, media, social, social media, teach
Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

1

2 months ago

better, bus, humor, irony, offer, people, room, sitting, standing, standing room
Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

0

2 months ago

asleep, child, effective, family, humor, instrument, parenting, practice, sibling, still
Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

0

2 months ago

comedy, dating, humor, order, relationship, restraining, restraining order, robot, sex, sex robot, status, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

My life coach traded me.

23 shares on X this month:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

63 shares on X this month:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Just landed via Twitch:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Breaking via Slack:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Trending via Telegram:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Trending via Facebook:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Just shared via WeChat:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨