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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has viewed:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has copied:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has copied:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, β€œno, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has shared:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has downloaded:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on YouTube:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Just landed via Threads:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Making waves on YouTube:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Going bananas on TikTok:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Trending via Twitch:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

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Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.
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Commentary:
"When you tell your cat a secret and they silently judge you instead of offering advice. πŸ±πŸ™€πŸ’¬"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

84 shares on X this month:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

30 shares on Discord this month:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

39 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

42 shares on Slack this month:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has shared:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has shared:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has viewed:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has viewed:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Seen just now on Discord:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Spotted on Slack:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Just shared via YouTube:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Just landed via WeChat:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

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