Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"I guess you could say your dream symbolically represents your overwhelming to-do list… But who has time for dream analysis when you're already drowning in responsibilities? 🤷‍♂️💭 #DreamsCanWait"

busy, choices, dream, going, i, ignore, life, lot, priorities, right, stress, symbolic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

0

3 weeks ago

aging, am, bathroom, complaint, forty, frustration, going, humor, i, should, sick, time, tired
I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

0

2 months ago

activity, clear, confusion, fun, fun activity, humor, i, lifeguard, love, need, never, sport, tennis
That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

0

3 months ago

actually, anticipation, best, excitement, finding, got, job, job start, job transition, life, life moment, moment, new, new job, period, start, starting, times, transition
“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

0

2 months ago

call, customer, customer service, hold, humor, important, irony, line, phone, service, stay, waiting
I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

0

2 months ago

fall, history, humor, i, irony, question, reflection, Rome, stupid, wonder
Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

0

2 months ago

cowgirl, humor, i, media, position, post, reverse, reverse cowgirl, selfie, sexual, sexual position, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Making waves on WeChat:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Spotted on Slack:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Just shared via Twitch:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Shared recently on Slack:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Going viral on Instagram:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Making waves on Slack:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Breaking via Twitch:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨