Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Breaking via Telegram:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Trending via WeChat:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Going viral on Twitch:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Just landed via Twitch:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Dance like China isn’t watching.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, when you hit the dance floor, boogie like China has better things to do! 💃🇨🇳 #UnleashTheMoves"

China, dance, expression, freedom, humor, irony, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

0

2 months ago

addiction, beverage, caffeine, coffee, cup, daily, daily intake, day, every, humor, intake, morning, morning routine, ok, pretty, question, routine, sure
Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, humor, life, milestone, pounds, weight, welcome
I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

0

4 months ago

colleague, department, difficult, difficult time, humor, just, learned, news, office, planning, retreat, sarcasm, team building, terrible, thank, thoughts, time, work
Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

0

4 months ago

best, brand, excited, excitement, expectation, hope, hoping, humor, irony, new, optimism, pessimism, super, week, worst
I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

0

2 months ago

back, closet, date, existentialism, fashion, humor, i, Nietzsche, nothing, outfit, preparation, stare, wear
Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

0

2 months ago

ancient, ancient Rome, eat, ever, food, humor, meal, paid, payment, properly, roman, Rome, salt, seasoning, understand, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

85 shares on Discord this month:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Going bananas on Discord:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Making waves on Telegram:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Freshly posted on X:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Spotted on Reddit:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Live now on YouTube:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Trending via Discord:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Going viral on X:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨