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Commentary:
"Reminder: Positive self-talk includes a healthy dose of delusion 😄🤥 Embrace those self-affirming fibs with gusto! Just don't believe them too much! 😉 #selfdeceptiongoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

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3 weeks ago

cookie, deity, holiday, humor, leaving, literally, making, milk, offering, Santa, tradition
I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

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2 months ago

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want
I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

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2 months ago

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I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

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2 months ago

back, boundary, communication, conversation, end, enjoy, enjoyment, i, interaction, kind, life, living, modern, modern life, silence, simply, social, social interaction, texting, where, world
Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

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2 months ago

conversation, frustration, humor, i, joke, me, print, printer, show, sounds, sure, technology
Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

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2 months ago

clothing, different, frustration, grief, humor, kind, laundry, losing, stain, tee, white, white tee

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

44 shares on Discord this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

25 shares on X this month:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Spotted on Instagram:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Broadcasted on Reddit:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Going viral on Telegram:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Live now on X:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Going viral on Reddit:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Making waves on Facebook:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨