Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Trending via Telegram:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Trending via WeChat:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Just landed via YouTube:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Trending via Instagram:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess my dad's still trying to find the receipt for the 'me' package 🤷‍♂️😂

dad, every, family, humor, i, mom, parent, reaction, refund, relationship, sarcasm, something, stares, stupid, time, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

0

1 month ago

dark, dark humor, dead, death, humor, keep, keeping, only, people, secret, secret keeping, three, trust
The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

0

2 months ago

brella, creation, going, hesitation, humor, inventor, naming, umbrella, wordplay
My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

0

1 month ago

activity, change, doing, goal, growth, humor, new, new year, personal, personal growth, resolution, Resolutions, stop, things, time, year
Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

0

1 month ago

accountability, blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, irony, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop
“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

0

3 months ago

communication, even, here, humor, introvert, personality, presence, quiet, sarcasm, why
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

0

2 months ago

annoying, annoying person, applicants, filled, humor, life, need, people, person, positions, thank, thank you

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

43 shares on X this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

79 shares on Threads this month:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Going viral on Slack:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Trending via Twitch:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Trending via Facebook:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Making waves on X:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨