Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Seen just now on Facebook:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Spotted on Discord:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Just shared via Twitch:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Trending via Snapchat:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess my dad's still trying to find the receipt for the 'me' package 🤷‍♂️😂

dad, every, family, humor, i, mom, parent, reaction, refund, relationship, sarcasm, something, stares, stupid, time, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

2 months ago

couple, couple humor, hate, hatred, humor, humor quote, people, relationships, romance, romantic, same, sarcasm
My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

2 months ago

boom, dating, disappointment, feels, full, humor, humor humor, humor quote, life, lot, love, love life, motorcycle, open, open space, parking, parking lot, relatable, space, spot
My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

2 months ago

equipment, exercise, exercise equipment, favorite, favorite part, having, i, Peloton, people, showing, showing off, status, status symbol, symbol, telling, telling people
Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

2 months ago

complain, honesty, humor, i, lie, self-deprecation, sorry
Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

2 months ago

another, bag, communication, flesh, glowing, glowing screen, humor, interaction, relationships, screen, send, social, social interaction, symbols, weird
I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

6 months ago

before, found, humor, i, innocence, knowledge, miss, much, nostalgia, perspective, reflection, too, world, worldview

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

63 shares on X this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Trending via Messenger:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Just landed via X:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Just shared via WeChat:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Making waves on X:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Just shared via WeChat:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨