Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Spotted on Messenger:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Trending via TikTok:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Going viral on Facebook:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Spotted on Telegram:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Live now on YouTube:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Trending via Messenger:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Seen just now on Twitch:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rewind my life so I can skip past Monday mornings! 🎶🔄🤣

again, cassette, cassette tape, flip, me, music, over, play, retro, tape

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

0

2 months ago

calling, coworkers, day, drugstore, fired, first day, humor, joke, new, pharmily, pun, working, workplace
Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, around, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, floating, give, high, humor, intelligence, IQ, low, me, satire, theory, too
Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

0

2 months ago

actresses, bud, clean, cotton, cotton bud, ear, envy, face, humor, i, porn
Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

0

5 days ago

best, bother, boundary, call, communication, home, humor, me, phone, phone call, reach, time, timing, work
Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

0

2 months ago

communication, going, greeting, humor, intention, sleep
Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

0

2 months ago

ant, ants, beauty, beauty brand, brand, cream, face, face cream, humor, product, size, skincare

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Discord this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

76 shares on Reddit this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

73 shares on X this month:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Live now on Discord:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Just shared via WeChat:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Making waves on Slack:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨