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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has copied:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has bookmarked:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Breaking via Discord:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Going viral on X:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Making waves on Instagram:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

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Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.
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Commentary:
Rewind my life so I can skip past Monday mornings! πŸŽΆπŸ”„πŸ€£

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

50 shares on X this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Growing old is a process of saying β€œit’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No, I’m not β€œdating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,387

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has downloaded:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has shared:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has copied:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Facebook:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Just shared via Slack:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Just shared via Telegram:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just shared via Instagram:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Seen just now on Threads:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Making waves on Slack:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Going viral on X:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Spotted on YouTube:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

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