Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Happiness is an inside job.

Making waves on YouTube:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Breaking via X:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

1 month ago

Witty text about nostalgia and replaying memories, humorously comparing life to a cassette tape.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rewind my life so I can skip past Monday mornings! 🎶🔄🤣

again, cassette, cassette tape, flip, me, music, over, play, retro, tape

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

28 shares on Slack this month:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

12 shares on Threads this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

36 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Just landed via Instagram:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Live now on Telegram:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Trending via Threads:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Going bananas on Discord:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Making waves on Messenger:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Going viral on X:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Just shared via Threads:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨