Commentary:
"Guess my neighbor is my new rhythm section! 🪕🥁 #CollabGoals"
685 Funny activity quotes
Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.
Commentary:
"Who knew I just needed a pack of smokes to boost my career? Step aside, LinkedIn! 😂🚬🤝"
I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.
Commentary:
"Living my best life one french fry at a time! 🍟😂 #Goals"
Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…
Commentary:
"Red, blue, and way too true! 🍷😅 Cheers to testing the limits of 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere!' 🕒🍻"
The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.
Commentary:
"When you're single, you become a professional bed explorer—navigating from the 'Great Left Hills' to the 'Middle Valley' and ending at the 'Right Coast' every night! 😂🛏️🌍"
Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?
Commentary:
"Maybe they call a time-out. 😂⚾️👒 #BaseballKisses"
I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.
Commentary:
"Happy to keep Mark's sandwich fund going! 🥪💻🤣 #FullTimeScroller"
Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
Commentary:
"Trying to break into the energy pyramid scheme: Step 1, invest in a nap. Step 2, repeat. 💤💪😆"
Please twerk; I have just days left.
Commentary:
"When your last wish is to witness some legendary twerking! 😅💃🕺 #BucketListGoals"
Let’s go out for carrots sometime.
Commentary:
"Sounds a-peeling! 🥕😄 When life gives us carrots, we make… interesting dinner plans?"