Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Making waves on Slack:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Just landed via Threads:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Funny bold quotes

Funny bold quotes bring a splash of humor and confidence to your day 😎🔥 Whether you need a witty comeback or a fearless attitude boost, these clever lines will have you laughing out loud 😂💥 Ready to turn heads and drop truth bombs with a smile? Let’s dive into some seriously sassy and unapologetically fun vibes! 🎉💬

New funny bold quotes 👇

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

0

2 months ago

accessory, bold, bold style, boost, confidence, confidence boost, empowerment, example, fashion, feel, humor, i, know, me, personality, quirky, self-confidence, sexier, style, sword, times
I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

0

2 months ago

anyone, bold, comedy, everyone, here, humor, irony, joke, offend, provocative, sarcasm
Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

0

2 months ago

am, bold, casual, fact, full, honesty, humor, i, irony, me, phrase, relatable, self-awareness, worry
People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

0

2 months ago

assume, assumption, bold, confidence, enough, even, happening, humor, night, people, routine, shower, tomorrow
Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

0

2 months ago

assumption, bold, climb, die, energy, even, hill, humor, i, laziness, sarcasm, struggle
Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

0

2 months ago

bold, bold move, commentary, history, humor, i, incognito, incognito mode, joke, mode, move, online, online privacy, privacy, social, social commentary, tech, tech joke, tonight, turning
Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

0

2 months ago

bold, confidence, creativity, design, humor, italic, never, regular, typography
I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

0

3 months ago

am, bold, contradiction, explain, humor, i, paradox, personality, same, shy, time
You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

0

3 months ago

bold, brilliant, confidence, empowerment, feminine, feminine hygiene, humor, hygiene, i, me, period, stop, tampon, tampon wrapper, told, wrapper

All funny bold quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

16 shares on Reddit this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

52 shares on Reddit this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

96 shares on Threads this month:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Making waves on X:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Making waves on Reddit:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Shared recently on X:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Spotted on Threads:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

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