Commentary:
Here lies the standoff of the century: outwit or forever hold your peace! 😂🤔🔍
512 Funny dating quotes
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate cleaning hack! 😂🧹 Just make sure he doesn't swipe you out for a real date! 🍽️🎭
Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?
Commentary:
Ah, the 20s: where commitment issues meet blind optimism in the strangest of romances! 😂🤦♂️💔
What happened to the art of just liking one person?
Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when we committed to one person… like our Wi-Fi does every time we try to connect to someone else's. 📶💔😄
Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.
Commentary:
🎅😂 "Breaking news: Neither Santa nor 'local singles' are coming down your chimney this year!" 💔🎄
I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.
Commentary:
Looks like I need to reschedule my appointment with Dr. Frankenstein for that soul upgrade 🤖❤️
Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?
Commentary:
Wow, talk about puppy love! 🐶❤️ What’s next, a goldfish getting engaged? 🐠💍
Does anyone know where I can find true love?
Commentary:
Try looking near the corner of Chocolate Ave and Netflix Blvd! 🍫📺❤️
Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just make sure they're free-range, non-GMO, ethically sourced friendship lemons. 🍋😂
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.
Commentary:
Respecting people so much, I accidentally founded the Ghost Olympics 👻🏆 #CulturalTradition