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Funny documentary quotes

  • David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

    Commentary:
    “Here we observe the elusive human in its natural habitat, exhibiting its most impressive skill: snoozing 💤. A true master of the ‘art of napping,’ our subject remains in a state of deep slumber, undisturbed by the chaos of the outside world. Truly a captivating spectacle to behold! 🌟 #SleepGoals”

  • It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

    Commentary:
    Well, it’s like watching a mystery unravel, only to find out the biggest mystery is how the police managed to misplace all the clues! 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ Time to call in the detective squad… or maybe just the Scooby Gang! 🐶🔍

  • I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the perfect way to unwind after a long day – because nothing says ‘chill’ quite like a good ol’ serial killer documentary 🤯🔪 Who needs calming nature sounds when you can have murder mysteries, right? Stay creepy, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️ #UnconventionalRelaxation”

  • At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

    Commentary:
    Oh, I can already see it now – “The Chronicles of the Cubicle: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Lunches” 🔍🎬 Who knew office drama could be so riveting? Just wait for the dramatic reenactments and cliffhanger endings!

  • I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs social skills when you can just eat your problems away? 🦖😂 Just imagine if humans did the same…awkward family reunion? Say no more, just pass the BBQ sauce! 🍖 #Dinolicious”

  • Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

    Commentary:
    🕵️‍♂️🎬 “Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.” 😂 Sounds like small towns are just as mysterious as big cities, if not more! Who knew they were such hotbeds of crime and drama? 🕵️‍♀️🔍

  • My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your phone is ready to submit its entry to the Sundance Film Festival! 📱🎥🎬 Who knew your purse has all the drama, suspense, and mystery of a blockbuster hit?! Perhaps it’s time to start charging it director royalties! 🤣 #PurseLifeDocumentary

  • I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like this aspiring scuba diver might need to prepare some earplugs along with their diving gear! 🎵🤿 Who knew the real danger of the deep sea lay in the soothing sounds of violins and flutes? 🌊😂 #DiveSafe”

  • If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

    Commentary:
    “Surviving without starring in a murder documentary? That’s an achievement to celebrate! 🕵️‍♂️🔪💼 Just another reminder that your life is drama-free… well, at least of the crime scene kind! 😅👏”

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