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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Going viral on Threads:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Trending via TikTok:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Going viral on X:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Live now on X:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Funny effective quotes

Funny effective quotes bring laughter and wisdom together in the most unexpected way! 😂✨ They brighten your day while sneaking in a clever lesson or two. Whether you need a mood boost or a witty comeback, these gems are your go-to ammo. Ready to smile and think at the same time? Let’s dive into the world where humor meets brilliance! 💡🤣

New funny effective quotes 👇

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

8 hours ago

chore, cleaning, cleaning effectiveness, effective, effectiveness, floor, floor cleaning, funny observation, hands, hands and knees, household, household chore, knees, mop, mopping, much, observation, scrub, unfortunate
Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

10 hours ago

break, coding, debugging, effective, humor, most, problem, problem-solving, productivity, programming, solving, taking, tool, walk, walking
Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

2 days ago

bribe, cake, effective, fear, humor, manipulate, manipulation, me, much, persuasion, please
I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

2 weeks ago

budgeting, diet, dollars, effective, financial, food, humor, i, joke, money, only, payday, struggle, twenty
Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

2 weeks ago

asleep, child, effective, family, humor, instrument, parenting, practice, sibling, still
The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

2 weeks ago

abstinence, effective, effectiveness, humor, protection, safety, sun, sun protection, sunscreen
If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

2 weeks ago

bedtime, child, cost, cost effective, effective, endless, endless energy, energy, humor, i, parenting, supply, tired
The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

2 weeks ago

alarm, annoying, annoying sound, before, effective, iPhone, listen, morning, noise, sleep, sound, wake, wake up

All funny effective quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

43 shares on X this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a person for me and me only.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Breaking via Twitch:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Live now on YouTube:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Spotted on Discord:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Just shared via Slack:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Just shared via WeChat:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Just shared via Messenger:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Spotted on X:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

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