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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Live now on Reddit:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Going viral on Slack:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Making waves on Discord:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

143 Funny give quotes

More funny give quotes 👇

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

0

2 months ago

dog, give, give up, humor, i, knows, loyalty, much, never, pet, pet humor, too, too much
Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

0

2 months ago

answer, challenges, choices, door, give, humor, lemons, life, perspective, positivity
If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

0

2 months ago

annoying, give, know, pretty, sure, think, time
I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioner, appreciation, award, conditioner, employee, give, humor, i, month, plaque, workplace
Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

0

2 months ago

blood, generosity, give, horoscope, humor, idea, prediction, week
If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

0

2 months ago

answer, funny response, give, giving, humor, joke, lightheartedness, me, playful, playful threat, question, response, serious, serious answer, silly, silly question, threat, wedgie
Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

0

2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, bacon, breakfast, clock, coffee, food, forget, give, just, me, morning, smell, wake, wake up
Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

0

2 months ago

cell, cell phone, company, give, give up, hold, hold music, humor, interest, jazz, lose, music, phone, play, smooth, smooth jazz, working
You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

0

2 months ago

attraction, cartoon, give, Goofy, humor, hyuck, i, love, weird
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

0

2 months ago

again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman

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All funny give quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

55 shares on X this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

42 shares on Twitch this month:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

37 shares on X this month:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Just shared via X:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Just landed via Twitch:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Trending via Reddit:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Activity Log ✨

143 Funny give quotes

More funny give quotes 👇

All funny give quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨