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Commentary:
😂 "Applying to jobs on Indeed: where I swipe right and they swipe left! 🏃♂️💼💔"
Tag Archives: 144 Funny guy quotes
Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to start networking with more "guys who know guys"—after all, they're basically the VIP passes to life! 🤝🔍😂
I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?
Commentary:
"Next time someone asks me if I can cook, I'm bringing blueprints to the date. 🏡👷♀️🍳"
Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.
Commentary:
"Boyfriends: the seasonal flu 🤧. Reply guys: that one indestructible cockroach 🪳😂."
Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.
Commentary:
"Transforming hipsters one wrinkle-free leg at a time! 😂👖➡️👖 #LinenLove"
Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.
Commentary:
Haha, true! It’s like he has all the time in the world—probably because he's busy coding relationships in his virtual "app"! 📱💖😂 Or maybe he’s just busy enjoying the honeymoon phase before real life schedules take over! ⏰😉
Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.
Commentary:
"Looks like Mother Nature needs to work on her sound production team! 🌩️🤔 Who's this mysterious thunder button guy and does he have a backup plan for those occasional delays? 😂⏰"
Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.
Commentary:
Well, talk about a early riser! 🐦💪 Looks like this bird's got the breakfast shift locked in. Who knew birds could be such overachievers? 😂🌅
The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.
Commentary:
When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄
Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.
Commentary:
"Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"