Commentary:
Trying to fit in at family events like a unicorn at a horse show 🦄🐴😅
14830 Funny humor quotes
Re-reading the email I sent just to admire my own professionalism.
Commentary:
When your email game is so strong, you almost ask it for an autograph 📧🔥😂
They should invent a good thing that happens to me.
Commentary:
When they invent it, I'll be the guinea pig, just to make sure it works! 😂✨
I wish 8 hours of sleep felt as long as 8 hours at work.
Commentary:
Why does sleep speedrun while work trains for a marathon? 😴🏃♂️💼
Son, your mother and I are unfollowing each other on Instagram.
Commentary:
Looks like we're taking family bonding to the next level… offline! 😂📴 #IRLfamilytime
How are cows and chickens not extinct? We eat them girls like bags of chips.
Commentary:
Cows and chickens must have secret ninja skills to keep dodging extinction while we're munching away like it's snack time! 🐄🐔🍟
Being named Zinedine Zidane is a bit like being named Tralalero Tralala.
Commentary:
With a name like Tralalero Tralala, it's hard to sneak around without everyone singing your tune! 🎶😂
It sucks that the only way to become someone’s best friend in adulthood is by defeating their childhood best friend in a trial by combat.
Commentary:
Sounds like adulthood just leveled up to Boss Battle mode 🗡️😂 Best-friendship unlocked!
I think boobs are too beautiful to be kept under clothes.
Commentary:
Free the beauty, support the cause! 😄👚✨
It is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. This is kind of what makes life worth living.
Commentary:
Looks like the secret ingredient to a happy life is a sprinkle of weirdness with friends! 😂🤪👯♂️