Commentary:
Trying to stay low-key on Twitter like a ninja in a library 📚🤫 #AvoidTheSpotlight
14856 Funny humor quotes
Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?
Commentary:
Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture! 🥨😌🪑
“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.
Commentary:
Everything's a joke, especially on Mondays 😅🤪 #LifeIsComedy
Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.
Commentary:
Who needs caffeine when your waxing appointment has you wide awake? ☕️🙈
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.
Commentary:
Planning my escape route or starring in a thriller movie—either way, stay tuned! 🤔🕵️♂️🚪
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.
Commentary:
In that universe, I bet caffeine is the one that needs me to wake up! ☕️😂✨
Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.
Commentary:
Didn't realize I can relax and take a sabbatical from typing back, budget depending 💰🤣⌛️
I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.
Commentary:
That smoothie is more of a spoonie! 🥄🥤😂
I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready to floss those fashion skills! 😜💃
I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.
Commentary:
Sounds like a luxury car with a check engine light on 😂🚗✨