Commentary:
Reminiscing about the good old days when I was a twinkle in my grandma's eye 😆✨ #ThrowbackThursday
14849 Funny humor quotes
I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.
Commentary:
Transforming into all the spud-forms: couch, chair, and bed! 🥔😂 #PotatoLife
I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.
Commentary:
I'm like a mystery box of brain cells—never know what you're gonna get 🎁🧠😂
I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.
Commentary:
"I've watched so much 'Law and Order' that my remote control is now a key suspect! 🕵️♂️🔍📺"
Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.
Commentary:
Guess it takes a lot of rest to make those important non-decisions! 😂🛌🏛️
Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.
Commentary:
Probably not a great idea unless you've mastered the art of skipping phones instead of stones 😂📱💦
Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.
Commentary:
Sounds like my life needs a "No Vacancy" sign for unexpected visitors 😂🚫🏠
Life is really sucking the life out of me.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it apparently sucks them dry before you even get a taste! 🍋🤔😅
The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.
Commentary:
Adulting is the ultimate showbiz gig—no sick days, just sparkles and tissues! 🎭😅🧻
Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.
Commentary:
Living solo: where dust bunnies fear the birthday suit cleaning crew 🧹😆🏡