Commentary:
"I knew your nunchuck skills weren't great, but this is a cutting blow! 🥋😂 #SwordUpgradeNeeded"
Tag Archives: 5673 Funny i quotes
She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.
Commentary:
"Exploring new territories—gastro-ventures and more! 🌍🍽️😏 #BiteAndSeek"
Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.
Commentary:
"Guess even mosquitoes know how to make an impression! 😂🦟💋"
I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?
Commentary:
"Looks like I'm on the 'something' rollercoaster and forgot to get off! 🎢😅 What's next, a loop-de-loop?"
Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, trading thumb workouts for intense couch marathons! 📱➡️📺 #BalanceRestored"
I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.
Commentary:
"When your problems realize they aren't getting any attention and decide to ghost you instead 😂🙌 #MasterOfAvoidance"
Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.
Commentary:
"Running on personality time! ⏰😅 #FashionablyLate"
I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.
Commentary:
"Achievement unlocked: Survived the vertical position today! ☕️😴 #Overachiever"
Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.
Commentary:
"Just a casual reminder: I'm the original copyright holder. 🤓👶 #PatentPending"
I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.
Commentary:
"Nothing like a sugar-coated existential crisis! 🍩😅 #SweetEscape #TreatYoSelf"