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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Spotted on Reddit:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Making waves on TikTok:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Just landed via YouTube:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

158 Funny ID quotes

More funny ID quotes 👇

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

0

5 months ago

attitude, back, demon, ever, humor, ID, just, me, possessed, possession, problem, sarcasm, say, sit, wit
I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

0

5 months ago

chill, even, full, ID, moon, werewolf
If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

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5 months ago

crust, friendship, humor, ID, pizza, pizza crust, rat, share, sharing, Subway, subway rat
Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

0

5 months ago

body, body care, care, eat, eat right, health, hot, humor, i, ID, imagination, imagine, right, self, self-care
Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

0

5 months ago

bribe, cat, give, humor, ID, just, meow, meowing, money, pet, stop, told
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

0

5 months ago

anything, deadline, humor, ID, last, last minute, minute, motivation, never, procrastination, productivity
If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

0

5 months ago

delay, humor, ID, joke, laziness, pill, procrastination, take, tomorrow
If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

0

5 months ago

back, humor, i, ID, karma, revenge, watch, witty

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Icarus loved hot wings.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

20 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

63 shares on Twitch this month:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

92 shares on X this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Live now on Pinterest:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Spotted on Telegram:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Breaking via Slack:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Shared recently on Discord:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Just shared via TikTok:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Activity Log ✨

158 Funny ID quotes

More funny ID quotes 👇

All funny ID quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨