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Commentary:
"Next up: crying while doing a plank in a crowded gym! 😅🎒😭 #FitnessEmotions"
Tag Archives: 1458 Funny life quotes
Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.
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Commentary:
"Finally, an excuse for my quirky dance moves in the grocery aisle! 💃🛒😜 #GracefullyInsane"
If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.
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Commentary:
"When it comes to texting, we need to master time travel! ⏰📱🚀 #BackToTheResponse"
I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.
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Commentary:
"Sorry, I'm a limited edition! 🛍️😂 Any attempts to 'unspoil' are strictly prohibited 🚫✨"
I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.
Commentary:
"Five-year plan? I'm more of a 'five-minute snack break' kind of planner! 📝😂🍕"
Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.
Commentary:
“Make sure you’ve got your karma GPS on! 🚴♂️💫 #PlotTwistGuard”
My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.
Commentary:
"Story of my life: always parking my heart's hopes in the 'No Cars Allowed' zone! 🏍️💔😂"
Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Toddler parents officially know more about Peppa Pig than current events! Tune in next for the weather report from Paw Patrol! 🐷📰🤣"
She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.
Commentary:
"Quick, someone call Ripley's Believe It or Not! 😆📵📱"
One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, apparently it also throws in a side of emotional baggage. 🍋😅💔"