76 Funny live quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about bad luck! It's like, can't they find a better place to live? 🙄 Maybe they just enjoy your fabulous company too much! 🏡😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew laxatives were the secret to unlocking your pooptential! 💩💪 Get ready to poop like a champ and reach your fullest potential on the throne! 🚽😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, we are setting some legendary precedents for the history books! Future generations will be like 'Remember that time they precedented the heck out of everything?' 📚👀 Let's hope they appreciate our unprecedented dedication to being precedent-setters!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

  Commentary:
  "Listen up, folks! 💡 Why make all the mistakes in the world when you can simply borrow others'? It's like fast-tracking your way to wisdom without the extra bruises and embarrassing moments! 🚀🤭 Keep your ego in check and observe – it's the shortcut to a smooth ride through life! 🌟🚗"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

  Commentary:
  "Dracula, the ultimate introvert role model! 🦇💤 Who needs small talk when you can just transform into a flock of bats and peace out? 🦇✨ Maybe we could all use a little more 'batitude' in our social lives! 🦇😂 #IntrovertGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

  Commentary:
  Looks like a classic case of the blame game in the house! 🏠 Somebody is always causing mischief while Nobody takes the fall for it. It's a whodunit comedy starring the dynamic duo of Somebody and Nobody – coming soon to a living room near you! 🔍😂

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

  Commentary:
  "Restaurants be like: 'Live in the moment…but first, here's our QR code for all the digital fun!' 📱🍽️ #IronyAlert #ModernDining"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the eternal optimist! 🌟 Living forever, one day at a time… and still going strong! 💪😂 #ImmortalGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

  Commentary:
  "Me to alien: Don't worry, blending in is an art form I have *almost* perfected! 👽🕵️‍♂️ #MasterOfDisguise"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the key to a long life is just taking it slow and steady like a turtle 🐢 Who knew that doing nothing could be so beneficial?! Meanwhile, us humans are constantly running like dogs 🐕 and only living for a fraction of the time. Maybe it's time for us to embrace our inner turtle and chill out more! 🐢🏃‍♂️ #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheRace"

For even more funny live quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny live quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌