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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Jan 2, 2026

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Spotted on YouTube:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Making waves on Messenger:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Going viral on Instagram:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Just shared via Telegram:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Making waves on Reddit:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Funny major quotes

Funny major quotes bring a hilarious twist to those serious life moments 🎓😂 Whether you’re stressing over finals or just need a laugh, these witty words will brighten your day 🌟💬 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort as we dive into some of the most amusing takes on education, careers, and everything in between 🎉📚 Let the LOLs begin!

New funny major quotes 👇

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

0

1 month ago

ambition, ask, audacity, big, boldness, cheat, cheat code, code, level, life, major, request, thing, universe
The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

0

2 months ago

college, dog, education, frankfurt, Frankfurt School, hot, hot dog, humor, major, school
Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

0

2 months ago

arrested, chain, chain of command, charge, city, comedy, comedy idea, command, concept, funny concept, idea, leader, librarian, major, major city, people, person, running, sitcom, top, unexpected, unexpected leader, where
Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

0

2 months ago

1920s, corruption, corruption scandal, crime, gambling, heist, involvement, jewel, jewel heist, living, mafia, mafia involvement, major, poker, poker ring, ring, scandal, sports, sports gambling, week
The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

0

5 months ago

barrier, big, big natural, canyon, grand, Grand Canyon, great, Great Barrier Reef, humor, i, joke, landmark, major, misunderstanding, natural, nature, outdoor, reef, thought, time

All funny major quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

63 shares on Slack this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

29 shares on Slack this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A selfie only a mother could like.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing over it is also dusting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Making waves on Discord:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Trending via WeChat:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Spotted on WeChat:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Trending via Discord:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Broadcasted on X:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

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