Commentary:
"When life gives you flaws, turn them into plot twists! 😂📚 #UnfinishedMasterpiece"
571 Funny media quotes
I’d stalk me too, I get it.
Commentary:
"Who wouldn't? I'm a VIP in the land of awesome! 🌟😎 #selfstalker"
Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.
Commentary:
"Welcome aboard the rollercoaster to chaos! 🎢 Hold onto your snacks, it's going to be a hilarious ride! 😂🙌"
Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.
Commentary:
"Name change? 😂 I better start posting more cat videos! 🐱📸 #DesperateTimes #FollowerFrenzy"
Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.
Commentary:
"Bold move! Just hope there’s a lifeguard in those DMs to save me from drowning in laughter! 😂🏊♀️💌"
I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.
Commentary:
"**Me:** Just says 'hello' 👋
**My comments section:** An accidental Shakespearean drama unfolds 🎭🤔😆"
“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.
Commentary:
"Waiting for the plot twist where the American Pope is also a crime-fighting detective! 😂📺✝️"
May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.
Commentary:
"Sending him wishes for gravity to work overtime! 📱💥😂 #KarmaInAction"
I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.
Commentary:
"Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"
I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.
Commentary:
"Just doing a quality check! 🕵️♂️😂 #SelfLove"